Blessing

I have two bestfriends. And that is one of the countless reasons why I thanked God today. 

I love you, Pay and Kot!

:)

Ang mahalaga ikaw ay masaya. Wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng iba, sila ang may problema.

Today

10.10.10 today.

Nagising ako around 8 in the morning just to find out na tapos na maligo lahat ng kapatid ko and my dad as well. So I rushed to the bathroom to take a short shower. Ako na naman ang dahilan kung bakit kami malelate sa church. I finished it after 20 minutes. Ako na lang ang hinihintay and I even heard my youngest sister complaining and asking to my dad, “Sasama pa ba si Kuya? Pawis na pawis na ‘ko.”

I shouted, “30 minutes na lang ulet!” And then I laughed and laughed and fixed myself.

Much to our surprise, we weren’t late. Thank God.

Then the service started 15 minutes after we arrived. It was all good, just like those other services. 2 hours after, we decided to head our way home.

Iisa ang sinabi naming kay Dad kung bakit na naming gustong umuwi. Magrereview pa kami. And he smiled.

When we got home, it was already 11.30AM. Nakakaantok ang ganung oras. Seryoso. So instead of reviewing, I let myself sleep. Haha.

Bago ako natulog, hiniram ko muna ipod ng kapatid ko. Sobrang luma na ng mga kanta ko and add the fact na nakakasawa na silang pakinggan. I browsed her play lists. Sino ang hindi mamamangha sa 3,560 songs?! Ngayon lang ako nakahawak ng ipod na ganito karami ang songs. Haha

I found an album of Michael Buble. Ang mellow nung songs but one song caught my attention. It was titled, Hold On.

Good thing ako lang yung nasa room and it the door was locked. Naiyak ako. I really don’t know why. Sobrang na-move ako dun sa message ng song. Too bad, hindi yun alam ng ex-love ko which I consider my true love. And then, I slept.

When I woke up, I realized that it wasn’t a dream. There were tear stains left on my pillow, forcing me to believe that I cried before sleeping. And when I came back to my senses, I felt that I wanted to be loved again. I was longing for someone who could help me in fixing my heart so it can go back to its normal form.

I admit that I’m still holding on to the fact that one day everything will be the same. I can still see my future with this particular person. Though I should make myself believe that I am longer part of her world, my world and my heart still belongs to her.

Ganito pala yung aftermath ng isang broken relationship. Though you wanted to let go and move on, part of you is hopeful that you can still work it out.

At this point, I still ask myself why we need to end a relationship that we thought it can last for a lifetime? It doesn’t make sense when someone needs to abandon the other one while they still love each other.

Ngayon pa lang talaga ako magsstart magreview and it’s already 10:30PM. The relationship we made wasn’t as perfect as we wanted it to be. Sana kahit acads man lang, maperfect ko.

Changes

Growing up, I never had a romantic definition of love. When I was 10, about to enter high school then, I asked my dad. Don’t you find it strange that after 30 years or more, you still wake up with the same woman beside you? Dad snapped back and replied, if after 30 years or so I wake up to another woman beside me, that I will find strange!

I was surprised with his answer. I dismissed dad’s retort as true love. How can any sane person willingly pledge his lifetime into servitude to another, to meet her needs before his own, to look only to the fulfillment of her happiness, to give and give and give? It popped up into my mind. There’s only one way: Through love.

Can someone give me a succinct denotation of genuine love?

Months ago, I met this person. I was cynical, timid, skinny little boy. But one day, this person told me this, I will love you forever. Just like that, those five words unfurled my new beginning.

I am loved.

Each and every relationship will definitely face the music so the bond won’t shatter. The very first argument I had with my beloved, sixth month of our relationship was about the way she thinks.

In frustration, I let go of her certainty that this was built to last. When we fell in love, we resist change. We thought that if love was true, our beloved wouldn’t ask us to change. When we were in our first few months, we say, “Please stay the way you are.” Then we became disillusioned when my beloved doesn’t remain exactly as she was.

We couldn’t make it last as what we have promised before. Due to differences and other frustrations, we decided to go on separate walks.

Perhaps, it’s better to think of love as a moving force; better to be aware that movement is oftentimes difficult and much painful. Love will constantly ask our hearts to move to places we might not be ready to enter. But that’s the irony of it all- only more love makes the pain fruitful. 

Ayt! I’ll go back listening to Counting Crow’s Big Yellow Taxi.

Unending Love

We don’t know what it takes to run the world, and wise are we who leave the work to God’s hands.

True enough. I can’t add more.