Changes

Growing up, I never had a romantic definition of love. When I was 10, about to enter high school then, I asked my dad. Don’t you find it strange that after 30 years or more, you still wake up with the same woman beside you? Dad snapped back and replied, if after 30 years or so I wake up to another woman beside me, that I will find strange!

I was surprised with his answer. I dismissed dad’s retort as true love. How can any sane person willingly pledge his lifetime into servitude to another, to meet her needs before his own, to look only to the fulfillment of her happiness, to give and give and give? It popped up into my mind. There’s only one way: Through love.

Can someone give me a succinct denotation of genuine love?

Months ago, I met this person. I was cynical, timid, skinny little boy. But one day, this person told me this, I will love you forever. Just like that, those five words unfurled my new beginning.

I am loved.

Each and every relationship will definitely face the music so the bond won’t shatter. The very first argument I had with my beloved, sixth month of our relationship was about the way she thinks.

In frustration, I let go of her certainty that this was built to last. When we fell in love, we resist change. We thought that if love was true, our beloved wouldn’t ask us to change. When we were in our first few months, we say, “Please stay the way you are.” Then we became disillusioned when my beloved doesn’t remain exactly as she was.

We couldn’t make it last as what we have promised before. Due to differences and other frustrations, we decided to go on separate walks.

Perhaps, it’s better to think of love as a moving force; better to be aware that movement is oftentimes difficult and much painful. Love will constantly ask our hearts to move to places we might not be ready to enter. But that’s the irony of it all- only more love makes the pain fruitful. 

Ayt! I’ll go back listening to Counting Crow’s Big Yellow Taxi.